I thought you guys may be interested in the article I read on ninemsn this morning:



Simple tribute marks Hester's passing
19:44 AEDT Tue Mar 29 2005

A simple tribute - a single protea flower with hand-made drumsticks - is marking the spot where former Crowded House drummer Paul Hester took his life.

Hester, a father of two young girls, hanged himself on Saturday from a gnarled melaleuca tree, metres from a children's playground in Elsternwick Park, Brighton.

He was last seen walking his dogs near his home in bayside Elwood late on Friday.

Ambulance officers attended the scene shortly before 2pm (AEDT) on Saturday, and pronounced him dead more than 20 minutes later.

Hester was known for his on-stage antics but there have been suggestions the drummer struggled with depression.

The tree where Hester was found is visible from nearby Head Street.

Beside the protea laid the drumsticks - made from bamboo skewers bound with elastic bands to form the tips - and an ECG contact patch - evidence of efforts to revive Hester.

Near a clump of trees a short distance away, a mourner placed another floral tribute - 10 red gerberas, bound with elastic bands and tape to a well-worn drumstick and driven into the earth.

Local resident Pam, whose house backs on to the park, is convinced Hester had not spent long beneath the tree.

"I walked the dog through there about 7 or 7.30 Saturday morning and I didn't see anything," Pam told AAP.

"It's such a lovely spot here. I hope his final moments were pleasant."

Melbourne's Bayside Council could erect a memorial to Hester in the park.

"If someone approached us we would consider a memorial," a council spokesman said.

Suicides like Hester's were not uncommon, national telephone counselling service Mensline Australia said.

The male suicide rate in Australia was alarmingly high, with around 2,000 Australian men killing themselves every year, Mensline Australia manager Terry Melvin said.

"Men like Paul who have recently experienced a relationship breakdown are at particularly high risk," he said. "In fact, the suicide rate for separated men is nine times higher than for separated women."

In London late on Monday, former band mates Tim and Neil Finn said they would go ahead with their London concerts, believing it was the best way to remember Hester.

Neil Finn, who formed Crowded House with Hester after they played together in Split Enz, spoke of his grief at losing one of his best friends.

"I am deeply saddened by the loss of a close friend," the former Crowded House frontman said from London.

"(Crowded House bassist) Nick Seymour will be joining Tim and me here in London ... to share our grief.

"The Finn Brothers shows this week at the Royal Albert Hall will go ahead as we don't know what else to do at this time other than to be with those closest to us and Paul and to play music to remember him by."

A special forum has been set up on the frenz.com site For fans wishing to share their feelings with each other.

Hester played in several Melbourne bands before Neil Finn gave him his big break with Split Enz in 1983.

The pair formed Crowded House with bassist Seymour in the mid-1980s and went on to notch up a string of hits in Australia and overseas.

Hester quit Crowded House in 1994, two years before the band broke up, reinventing himself as a drummer-for-hire in Melbourne and owner of the Elwood Beach Cafe.

He had his own music chat show, Hessie's Shed, on ABC TV in the late 1990s, and was most recently the host of MusicMax Sessions on Foxtel.

Hester split from his long-term partner Mardi Sommerfeld four years ago, with whom he had two daughters, now aged 10 and eight.

Newspaper reports suggest he had separated from his girlfriend three months ago.


As mentioned above, I think it would be nice to have some sort of memorial dedicated to Paul in the park where he chose to spend his last moments. If you agree please email your support to Bayside Mayor, Craig Tucker at the following email address:

ctucker@bayside.vic.gov.au


In love and light......

quote:

Local resident Pam, whose house backs on to the park, is convinced Hester had not spent long beneath the tree.

"I walked the dog through there about 7 or 7.30 Saturday morning and I didn't see anything," Pam told AAP.

"It's such a lovely spot here. I hope his final moments were pleasant."

I'm sorry, but someone has to say it. What is this woman thinking? The depths to which one has to sink in order to take his own life must be anything BUT 'pleasant'.

Otherwise an interesting article. The impromptu memorial is as much a public sharing of grief as the messages on this forum.

I hope if there is a memorial in this park it will have some sort of connection to agencies that try to prevent suicide, to treat depression, and to encourage people to not be ashamed to seek help.

I only wish that paul is no longer wrestling with the demos of depression and has found an everlasting peace.

Yeah, you're not wrong. It is a beautiful park, but still....

One thing I do think will come from this heart breaking situation is a new attitude towards depression/emotional illness. You only have to read the messages on this site to see that it's already happening.

Riverdeboz,

People say the most bizarre possible things when reacting to suicide, mostly because it's so disturbing. From a policeman to a young woman who'd slashed her wrists: "It's too nice a day to kill yourself."

Absolutely right, Evvie...When faced with depression, shock or grief, all common rationality goes out the window.

Evvie,

Maybe so. I do believe it is a bizarre statement, and I kind of wonder why the reporter chose to include it. Thanks for your insight.

I know! That poor woman--I bet she's reading those words and smacking herself on the forehead for saying such a bonehead thing.

Those reporters have a way of making you say things you never said. You know?


vch

Boy, they certainly got detailed in this article about his death, didn't they?

quote:

Originally posted by mystik:
[qb]Suicides like Hester's were not uncommon, national telephone counselling service Mensline Australia said.

The male suicide rate in Australia was alarmingly high, with around 2,000 Australian men killing themselves every year, Mensline Australia manager Terry Melvin said.

"Men like Paul who have recently experienced a relationship breakdown are at particularly high risk," he said. "In fact, the suicide rate for separated men is nine times higher than for separated women."[/qb]

*Winces* Yikes...that's, uh, quite the tidbit to hear...

That's such a shame. I hope that something's done to change those statistics.

Anywho, yeah, that woman's comment struck me funny at first, too, but you guys are right...sometimes people do say the strangest things at times like this, and hey, I wouldn't put it past reporters to take things out of context or something like that...god knows there've been some in this world who've done it before.

The makeshift memorial of sorts, the stuff people are leaving at that spot...that's cool-nice little tribute to the guy. It'd be cool if an official memorial thing was set up there, but this is still nice as is.

Angela

I help a lot of people that are grieveing/depressed, for many different reasons, and at times like this we don't tend to think clearly. Our emotions take over and we find it almost impossible to express how we are really feeling. How many people who have left messages here in the past few days had to really think about what they wanted to say or retyped their entry more than once before posting?

I thought that a small, simple, tasteful memorial would be nice. Paul touched so many people and will always be remembered through his music and of course for the wonderful person he was. To actually have a physical location people can go to to pay their respects and rememeber the happiness, laughter and inspiration he bought to so many, I feel would help in the grieving process. Maybe, nearby they could post some sort of notice that could include details on where and how people suffering from depression can get the help they need.

Depression is SO common and yet most sufferers either don't know where to get help or have not even been diagnosed. Again, with the work that I do, I have found that most people feel that it's something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about because of society's sterotyped image of mental/emotional illness. This type of attitude belongs in the dark ages. Hopefully, if anything remotely positive can come from this tragedy it is that others will not have to endure the pain that Paul obviously did.

Thankyou Mystik, especially for the addy. I was reading that thinking oh I'll have to find an email addy and ask others to post to it to. Then I got to the end and you'd done that to.

I think maybe that woman was trying to think of Paul finding peace. I don't think she meant it so simply, if you know what I mean. I love that neighbourhood, and I love Melbourne and I hope Paul found peace there too.

quote:

Originally posted by mystik:
[qb]Maybe, nearby they could post some sort of notice that could include details on where and how people suffering from depression can get the help they need.[/qb]

That's a good idea.

quote:

Originally posted by mystik:
[qb]Again, with the work that I do, I have found that most people feel that it's something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about because of society's sterotyped image of mental/emotional illness. This type of attitude belongs in the dark ages.[/qb]

No kidding. Why is society so weird about this issue? Why do people make it feel like something you have to be ashamed of or whatever?

quote:

Originally posted by mystik:
[qb]Hopefully, if anything remotely positive can come from this tragedy it is that others will not have to endure the pain that Paul obviously did. [/qb]

Yeah. That'd be nice-save a few other families this pain and everything.

Angela

having justcome out of a dark place that constantly grabs at me to bring me down again i agree totally with mystics words,i to felt ashamed and weak at being ill,so ill i tried on many occassions to 2 end it but always woke up,so i thought maybe i have a guardian angel watchung over me.and i did
IT'S CALLED A KEY WORKER AND COUNCILLING
GET HELP IF U NEED IT DONT B AFRAID
U WILL B AMAZED HOW GOOD U WILL FEEL...

LOVE AND HAPPINESS 2 ALL

ZED(LONDON)

having justcome out of a dark place that constantly grabs at me to bring me down again i agree totally with mystics words,i to felt ashamed and weak at being ill,so ill i tried on many occassions to 2 end it but always woke up,so i thought maybe i have a guardian angel watchung over me.and i did
IT'S CALLED A KEY WORKER AND COUNCILLING
GET HELP IF U NEED IT DONT B AFRAID
U WILL B AMAZED HOW GOOD U WILL FEEL...

LOVE AND HAPPINESS 2 ALL

ZED(LONDON)

There is nothing wrong with someone seeking help from councelling, the healthiest happiest person can still do so just to remain happy.. and those feeling low should do so to avoid falling deeper as Paul obviously did. Just ensure the councellors are professionals and fully qualified to do that job because if they are not, they can do more damage than good, that point I cannot express enough. It is nothing to be ashamed of, everyone feels low at some point in their life, some more than others, but it doesn't mean there is something wrong or bad with that person. They are perfectly normal and it is always good to talk. You just get lost sometimes and lose sense of direction; but a qualified councellor will help you work through all that and find yourself again. I sought it myself once over 10 years ago when I went through a traumatic experience, I felt very low, and had cut off from friends and family myself. A problem shared is a problem halved and I can honestly say it does work if you give it a chance..

hi suzanne,thanks for your kind words,i hope if there is anyone else feeling down that they take notice.hope you feel ok aswell.
ZED

Thank you Zed and Suzanne. As Paul once said about his therapy, people spend good money on fixing their cars so why not their brains?

I think its important to acknowledge too that people in such a depressed state have things going wrong physiologically within their brain. ie. sometimes a drug is appropriate to boost whatever is missing. I feel embarassed writing that, and I guess that just shows how mental illness is viewed. I understood at one time that my brain was missing something (was it seratonin or something?) and after a few years of anti-depressants it really was corrected enough, so that counselling has been thereafter effective. Again I feel funny about writing that, like their is such a stigma to it or something.

Quite aware of those points (part of my profession) as am fully aware a chemical imbalance of the brain causes depression in many cases. Some being more susceptible and more severe than others. Councelling helps in conjunction with drugs or without drugs dependent on the individual case. Your feedback here is helpful however. I agree with what you state about too much of a drug causing the problem it should be treating too, that could be related to drug treatment in general cases too.

Just received this from the Mayor of Bayside.

"Thank you for your email regarding the request for a memorial for Paul
Hester. I will be talking to the Mayor of the City of Port Phillip which
is the adjoining Council where Paul lived. From this we can ascertain an appropriate location and form for a memorial.

Regards

Craig Tucker
Mayor
City of Bayside"

Whatever happened to this idea? I had written to the Port Philip authorities within the deadline (that was Aug 1, I think), and the council was supposed to vote on the idea in the subsequent weeks. Did I miss an announcement?